Santa, if you’re reading this, please use your intense occult powers to do me a favor this festive season: stop companies naming their products incomprehensibly. Please? I’ll leave you some weed-laced cookies? Just make sure I get gadgets with regular names. This trend of ridiculously named hardware irritated me before, but hit fever pitch recently when I was trying to buy a wake-up light. This is, as it sounds, a light that wakes you up. Effectively, they simulate the sun rising, meaning you surface from your slumber in a way that feels natural. After a bit of research, it seemed that…

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