Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are cool, but it can be tough to meet like-minded people — especially if all that’s on your mind is Tesla and Elon Musk. Unlike regular people who rarely care about philosophy, their carbon footprint, saving the planet, colonizing Mars, and naming their children after spy planes, Teslites and Muskians struggle to co-exist with non-Teslites and non-Muskians. In fact, research (citation non-existent) has shown that Tesla owners are 90% less likely to find love than any other earthlings. It’s a problem that’s plagued these poor souls for years. So I went on a date…

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