Who gives a good goddamn about new MacBook Pros or the AirPods 3? I’ll tell you who: losers. Because there was only one product worth our attention launched at Apple‘s October event. And that, friends, is a motherfucking cleaning cloth. Shh, don’t get annoyed. I understand you. I know how you live. And that means you’re currently reading these words on a screen smeared with a thick layer of grime. There’s no need to be ashamed — it’s normal. It’s totally normal. Don’t be ashamed. But in another, more real sense, be very ashamed. You’re a dirty, dirty little gremlin. Don’t worry…

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